"...Justice...Available In A Variety Of Colors..."

Let's try something.

Pretend that we are, all of us, covered in green skin.

Or plaid, if you think green a little drab.

For good measure, we also, all of us, possess the same basic facial structures, nose, ears, foreheads, etc.

Now, visualize the Darren Wilson/Michael Brown incident.

Then, visualize the Eric Garner incident.

Everything that Michael Brown did that night, from stealing, shoplifting, whatever in the convenience store to accosting the store clerk to failing to follow Wilson's original directions to physically accosting, in one way or another, the police officer put him on a path that was almost guaranteed to end badly.

Add to the cultural Cuisinart that he had a pretty healthy rap sheet for burglary, assault, etc. and you had a pretty good foundation on which to prove that he was, if not an outright thug, than certainly no soft spoken choir boy.

And if Wilson overreacted by shooting Brown to death, he has to bear that burden and shoulder than responsibility.

But, it's not like Wilson kicked in the door of the senior center and shot Brown to death in cold blood while he sat there reading the latest AARP Magazine to some old guy.

Meanwhile, in New York, New York, the town so nice they named it twice...

Garner, as clearly seen in the video, did nothing to merit being brought down in the manner he was brought down.

And, just as clearly, the choke hold that was put on him to bring him down is what killed him. A choke hold that was not loosened for long, eventually fatal, minutes.

Despite his clearly audible pleas to the cops that he could not breathe.

In both cases, as everyone knows, the outcome was the same.

Two black men dead.

White police officers cleared of any wrongdoing.

In Ferguson, there was conflicting testimony, questions about witness reliability, no audio or video record of what happened between Wilson and Brown and, of course, the "record" that Brown brought to the situation.

In New York, there was crystal clear video of an egregious excess of force on the part of the cops.

Two absolutely different situations.

Two absolutely similar outcomes.

And the only conclusion that any reasonable person can make when shown those incidents is that color obviously played role in those outcomes.

Because if we were all green with similar facial structures, it's a very safe bet that the Ferguson grand jury would still be criticized by the inevitable naysayers but supported by the majority of people who can separate fact from fiction and/or emotion.

And it's an equally safe bet that somebody with a badge would be going on trial in New York for excessive force.

But that's not how it played out.

The term colorblind is defined as the inability to see color.

The modern day definition of that term is the inability to see truth and provide fair and reasonable justice because color blocks that ability.

And by that definition, the tragedy, and the irony here, is that we have what we've always said we all want but it's not at all what we thought it would be.

Justice isn't blind anymore.

It's color blind.

"....If You're Happy And You Know It, Clap Your Hands....Unless You're In The Passing Lane...."

The term "self-help" has always perplexed me a little.

In what is, likely and admittedly, either a case of overthink or sardonicism mixed in with the logic ("sardologicism"?), or both, it occurs, that by its very nature, "help" usually includes some assistance from an outside source.

There are, obviously, a number of oft employed and arguably reasonable counters to that POV.

"You're your own best friend".

"If you can't count on you, who can you count on?" (or, actually, "who is it on whom you can count?" for the more grammatically anal amongst us).

And, of course, for those who prefer their support systems come equipped with spiritual equipment...

"...The Lord helps those who help themselves...."

Fair points all.

But, again, I find an equally reasonable case to make for "help" not really being an action that one can undertake solo.

Like prayer

Or solitaire.

Or Candy Crush.

Or masturbation.

Though, come to think of it, that last one really does qualify as helping oneself.

And, of course, there's "help yourself".

Although, let's be fair and honest and admit that one is really a catch all that can, and does, mean any number of things depending on context.

Everything from "the pizza's here, dig in" to a potentially lethal reply, depending on moment and mood, to your asking the question.....

"hey, honey, do you mind if I______________?"

All of that said, though, never let it be said that I'm not up for being served up a heaping helping of....well, helping.



(Tamara Star is a life coach, speaker and writer. The following is reprinted from The Huffington Post)

According to Psychology Today, University of California researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky states: "40 percent of our capacity for happiness is within our power to change."

If this is true and it is, there's hope for us all. There are billions of people on our planet and clearly some are truly happy. The rest of us bounce back and forth between happiness and unhappiness depending on the day.

Throughout the years, I've learned there are certain traits and habits chronically unhappy people seem to have mastered. But before diving in with you, let me preface this and say: we all have bad days, even weeks when we fall down in all seven areas.

The difference between a happy and unhappy life is how often and how long we stay there.Here are the 7 qualities of chronically unhappy people.

1. Your default belief is that life is hard. Happy people know life can be hard and tend to bounce through hard times with an attitude of curiosity versus victimhood. They take responsibility for how they got themselves into a mess, and focus on getting themselves out of it as soon as possible.

Perseverance towards problem-solving versus complaining over circumstances is a symptom of a happy person. Unhappy people see themselves as victims of life and stay stuck in the "look what happened to me" attitude versus finding a way through and out the other side.

2. You believe most people can't be trusted. I won't argue that healthy discernment is important, but most happy people are trusting of their fellow man. They believe in the good in people, versus assuming everyone is out to get them. Generally open and friendly towards people they meet, happy people foster a sense of community around themselves and meet new people with an open heart.

Unhappy people are distrustful of most people they meet and assume that strangers can't be trusted.

Unfortunately this behavior slowly starts to close the door on any connection outside of an inner-circle and thwarts all chances of meeting new friends.

3. You concentrate on what's wrong in this world versus what's right. There's plenty wrong with this world, no arguments here, yet unhappy people turn a blind eye to what's actually right in this world and instead focus on what's wrong. You can spot them a mile away, they'll be the ones complaining and responding to any positive attributes of our world with "yeah but".

Happy people are aware of global issues, but balance their concern with also seeing what's right. I like to call this keeping both eyes open. Unhappy people tend to close one eye towards anything good in this world in fear they might be distracted from what's wrong. Happy people keep it in perspective. They know our world has problems and they also keep an eye on what's right.

4. You compare yourself to others and harbor jealousy. Unhappy people believe someone else's good fortune steals from their own. They believe there's not enough goodness to go around and constantly compare yours against theirs. This leads to jealousy and resentment.

Happy people know that your good luck and circumstance are merely signs of what they too can aspire to achieve. Happy people believe they carry a unique blueprint that can't be duplicated or stolen from -- by anyone on the planet. They believe in unlimited possibilities and don't get bogged down by thinking one person's good fortune limits their possible outcome in life.

5. You strive to control your life. There's a difference between control and striving to achieve our goals. Happy people take steps daily to achieve their goals, but realize in the end, there's very little control over what life throws their way.

Unhappy people tend to micromanage in effort to control all outcomes and fall apart in dramatic display when life throws a wrench in their plan. Happy people can be just as focused, yet still have the ability to go with the flow and not melt down when life delivers a curve-ball.

The key here is to be goal-oriented and focused, but allow room for letting sh*t happen without falling apart when the best laid plans go awry- because they will. Going with the flow is what happy people have as plan B.
6. You consider your future with worry and fear. There's only so much rent space between your ears. Unhappy people fill their thoughts with what could go wrong versus what might go right.

Happy people take on a healthy dose of delusion and allow themselves to daydream about what they'd like to have life unfold for them. Unhappy people fill that head space with constant worry and fear.

Happy people experience fear and worry, but make an important distinction between feeling it and living it. When fear or worry crosses a happy person's mind, they'll ask themselves if there's an action they can be taken to prevent their fear or worry from happening (there's responsibility again) and they take it. If not, they realize they're spinning in fear and they lay it down.

7. You fill your conversations with gossip and complaints. Unhappy people like to live in the past. What's happened to them and life's hardships are their conversation of choice. When they run out of things to say, they'll turn to other people's lives and gossip.

Happy people live in the now and dream about the future. You can feel their positive vibe from across the room. They're excited about something they're working on, grateful for what they have and dreaming about the possibilities of life.

Obviously none of us are perfect. We're all going to swim in negative waters once in a while, but what matters is how long we stay there and how quickly we work to get ourselves out. Practicing positive habits daily is what sets happy people apart from unhappy people, not doing everything perfectly. 
 
Walk, fall down, get back up again, repeat. It's in the getting back up again where all the difference resides.




Only the most jaded in our ranks would find fault with either the premise, or the illustrations, of what Ms. Star shares here.

I don't personally find any thing here that isn't, at best, potentially life altering and, at least, cordial and well intended.

My only issue, at all, with the piece is my opinion that she actually didn't quite take it far enough.

Judging from the photo accompanying her essay, I would guesstimate that Ms. Star is a relatively young woman.

"Relatively", in this particular case, defined as "someone who knows who Sir Paul McCartney is but doesn't necessarily know that he was in a band before Wings".

I, on the other hand, grew up just a mere few years behind the Fabs.

So, if only because I've spent a little more time on the road than Tamara (can I call you Tamara?), I think I can extrapolate a little on her very good list here.

Here are MORE qualities of chronically unhappy people.



8. You watch the cable news channels ready to experience insight, information and inspiration.

 



Although your intentions might be good, looking for anything other than tunnel visioned, agenda pushing, venomous derision of the opposite side of whatever side any of the "news" people are on is like watching Miley Cyrus perform in the hopes of learning a little bit about taste, style and/or choreography.

9. You use the passing lane only for passing and assume that others will follow your example.

 

Clearly, you don't understand the dynamics of the modern driving paradigm. First, other drivers don't follow anybody's example. They do, however, follow you, no more than six to eight inches behind, actually a pretty impressive feat given that they can do that whether you're going 35 or 105. Second, EVERY lane is the passing lane.

 

10. You automatically expect whatever customer service person you call to be of no assistance to you at all, primarily because no matter how helpful they appear to want to be, you simply cannot understand a word they are saying.

 

This one doesn't constitute chronic unhappiness so much as it does both a precise understanding of the way the world works these days and a fully understandable resignation to the way the world works these days.

 

11. You tune in to country music radio and/or any country music awards show excited about hearing and/or seeing country music.

 

Seriously?

 

12. You always see the glass half empty when it comes to Congress.

 

This does indicate that you are, in fact, chronically unhappy. It also indicates, though, that you are an extremely well read, realistic, pragmatic, keen eyed observer of, and participant in. our democracy.

 

13. You tune into pop and/or hip hop radio and/or any pop and/or hip hop award show excited about hearing and/or seeing quality entertainment performed by talented role models.

 

Again....seriously?

 

14. You think the Christmas season shouldn't begin two weeks before Halloween .

 

Ho...ho....who you kiddin?

 

15. You totally don't get what all the fuss is about Pharrell Williams

 

16. You're looking forward to Rebecca Black's next album.

17. You buy the very latest Apple product, excited about having the very latest Apple product.

 

18. You think your 28 year old kid will be moving out any day now.

19. You live in Ferguson, Missouri.

 

20. You walk past the BEST SELLERS MAKE GREAT GIFTS table at Barnes and Noble and make a bee line for the SELF HELP section.

 

 

Though it's one of those things that often falls into the category of "easier said than done", it's hard to argue against the idea that happiness, in large measure, really is a matter of personal choice.

 

Just like homosexuality.

 

Sorry. I was watching Fox News while I was finishing up here.

 

And waiting for "Chuck" from New Delhi to take me off hold.

 

It is Christmas, after all, though.

 

So, no matter what, it's hard not to be happy.

 

Even if that happiness started two weeks before Halloween.